Craigslist

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that you can't find on Craigslist. Couch? Vespa? Wedding gown? Lead singer for your garage band? Trombone lessons? Casual sex? Balenciaga knockoffs? A new roommate? A $1.5 million house? A new job in marketing? All on Craigslist. Never actually bought anything from there, but many bored hours have been spent perusing the awesome listings, people sharing little bits of their lives, shedding light on the varied and highly entertaining society in which we live.

For example:

1. Fun-loving midget
Fun neighborhood bar, celebrating 14th bi-annual anniversary. Looking for a little person who knows how to entertain a crowd and is not offended by being called a midget. Our event is happening April 30th and we would like a fun-loving midget to get in on the action between 6p and 11p.

2. Dirty Scummy Clown
Fun neighborhood bar, celebrating 14th bi-annual anniversary. Looking for a dirty, balloon making clown. We don't need you to juggle or be nice to people, but you do need to be funny and not a rude-cock-sucker. Also a plus: if you can make balloon vaginas. Our event is happening April 30th and we would like our dirty clown between 6p and 11p.

Midgets and balloon vaginas, people. I MUST FIND THIS BAR.